Robots versus Slime Monsters by A. Lee Martinez

Author:A. Lee Martinez [Martinez, A. Lee]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: vampire, Fantasy, werewolf, monster, a lee martinez, a nameless witch, automatic detective, chasing the moon, divine misfortune, emperor mollusk, epic road quest, gils all fright diner, in the company of ogres, too many curses
Publisher: A. Lee Martinez
Published: 0101-01-01T00:00:00+00:00

Nessy shouted the incantation over the howling whirlwinds. This was the third time she’d had to do it. The first time, she’d been too close, and they’d drowned her out. The second, she’d been too far away, and the spell hadn’t found its target. This time, she was just right, and with the final magic syllable, the tornadoes lost all their energy. In their dying moment, they spewed ash, covering Nessy, the nurgax, Sir Thedeus, Dodger, the walls, ceiling, and floor with a layer of grime.

“Well done, Nessy lass.” Thedeus, perched on her shoulder, coughed and sputtered.

“Yes, well done,” agreed the demon firefly in her jar. Though it wasn’t her voice she used, but Echo’s. Borrowed for a few days as price for the knowledge of the seeds that hadn’t done Echo any good. Echo herself could’ve been anywhere, but Nessy assumes the voiceless, bodiless poet was nearby.

“You should really have known better,” said Nessy.

The nurgax shook the grime from its wings, and growled in a low and disappointed tone.

“Ach, we were just trying to help,” said Thedeus.

“I didn’t start it,” said Dodger. “I’m just here because Echo needed someone to carry the seeds.”

Fortune the cat, who had somehow managed to avoid getting covered in ash, licked his paw. “And I didn’t do anything.”

Sir Thedeus glanced at the mess that had been made. It seemed like half the castle was in disarray. Bits and pieces were strewn everywhere. A suit of armor had been knocked over, scattering into pieces. The beasts in the menagerie were still creating a racket that could be heard from halfway across the castle. A painting of a lake had fallen off its wall to lay upside down, its cursed resident up to his knees in water. Grass was continuing to grow out of many crevices in the brickwork.

“T’was not my greatest triumph,” admitted Thedeus, “but it all worked out in the end.”

“Yes, aside from the mess and the inconvenience and the fact that you didn’t actually do anything about the shadow of death, I’d say it was a complete success,” said the demon with a chuckle.

“I appreciate what you were trying to do,” said Nessy, though it was a strain of even her near legendary good nature to keep from snarling a bit as she said it. “But next time, perhaps you should consult with me beforehand.”

Thedeus grumbled to himself. It was as close to an apology as he would come.

Death’s shadow came floating out of the darkness.

“Hello, Nessy,” he said.

“We dinna summon you, shadow,” said Thedeus.

“If I waited to be summoned, I’d be far less busy than I am.”

Thedeus was about to say something else, when Nessy gently shushed him.

“Did you find what you were looking for?” she asked.

The shadow smiled inscrutably. “Indeed. I think after what I’ve seen today that you’ve no need of my special attentions. You earn your lives, every day, I see. But then again, doesn’t everyone? But you have a castle to tend, and I should be on my way.

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